


Destruction of Government Property

by DanielleItLouderNow



Category: Captain Marvel (2019)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Humor, Fun, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 09:12:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18753367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanielleItLouderNow/pseuds/DanielleItLouderNow
Summary: Carol gets her ass reamed over a hickey while Maria remembers where it all started.





	Destruction of Government Property

**Author's Note:**

> I stumbled on something one day about someone getting called for destruction of government property because they'd left a visible hickey on their boyfriend.
> 
> Obviously, a Danbeau fic needed written.
> 
> All the usual warnings from me apply. No beta, I write exclusively on my phone so occasionally autocorrect helps in the worst of ways, yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah.
> 
> Comment if you like it. Comment if you don't.
> 
> Also, I have no idea how USAF works, my family was all Army.
> 
> Cheers.

When Maria thought of _Government Property_ , she thought of the Beretta M9 she could tear apart and resemble in roughly 29 seconds, the one she proudly carried at her side. 

 

She thought of the buildings at the academy, vast expanses full of knowledge, testosterone, and engine grease. 

 

Obviously, she thought of the F-16 Fighting Falcons she worked on day in and day out, taking up every chance she got. Her call sign was _Photon_ and her bird proudly bore the name.

 

Maria did not think of Carol ' _Avenger_ ' Danvers, her best friend, flight buddy, and sort of secret girlfriend as Government Property.

 

At least not until she overheard Carol getting her ass reamed by the Lieutenant Colonel on her way to see Doc Lawson.

 

Maria was already in the hangar, wondering what the hell was keeping Carol. Crazy white girl was always, always first, everywhere and to everything, even if it meant cheating just the tiniest bit. 

 

Maria smiled fondly, remembering bajaing with Carol in her Mustang down a dirt road, just to beat some new punk ass NCO E5 Staff Sergeant assigned to a nearby hangar to oversee the maintenance of a B52, supervising the new E1s and freshly promoted E2s.

 

Either he didn't see the Captain's bars or chose to ignore them, when Carol came screaming up in her cherry red '69 Mustang Shelby GT, but he was immediately running his mouth. A bold move, given Carol's rank and propensity for knocking teeth out, but Maria noted the casual eyebrow twitch and small smirk, deciding to see how it would play out.

 

Bouncing down the road at nearly 80 MPH and skidding around the last corner to Pancho's had Maria feeling like she could soar all on her own, no wings required. A huge smile plastered to her face, she watched as the NCO rolled into the parking lot, first with a look of disbelief on his face followed shortly by a patronizing glance, smirking like he'd done Carol a favor by losing.

 

_Oh boy_ , Maria thought, rolling her eyes at Carol. Carol just waved it off and proceeded to lean casually against her Mustang, waiting for the idiot to make his move.

 

It wasn't often Maria let herself, but she openly admired Carol in this moment, under the guise of amazement at her victory.

 

She was all long legs and lean muscle, wearing low jeans that just looked like they were painted on. Her USAF t shirt hung loosely, scooping down to reveal just a hint at the hard earned shoulder muscles and gorgeous clavicle Maria fantasized about biting. Carol's blonde hair fell in messy, beautiful curls, framing her face and blowing freely in the wind. And then there was the jacket. That damn brown leather bomber with her flight insignia and Capt. Danvers on the front, and a B47 embroidered on the back. It was one of her prized possessions and part of what made Carol Carol.

 

For years to come, Maria would remember Carol, a grease smudge on her cheek, smelling faintly of sunshine, engine oil, and leather, beaming brightly at Maria, hanging over the wing of her bird, reaching for the wrench being passed to her.

 

Maria remembered it was the first time she felt that spark between them, the butterflies erupting in her stomach when Carol's fingers brushed hers, a faint blush spreading on her cheeks.

 

Yes, Maria allowed herself to bask in the warmth of the memory and the admiration she felt for Carol now.

 

Carol cast her a glance over her aviators and the two headed into Pancho's, neither caring if the NCO followed.

 

Unfortunately, he did.

 

Carol held the door open for Maria and let it slam in the Staff Sergeant's face. Maria had to stifle a laugh at his bewilderment as they slid into their booth.

 

Tenny had already clocked them and was on the way over with two beers and double shots of tequila for them both.

 

Maria watched as the NCO smoothed his hair in the reflection of the door and blew himself a kiss before strutting in the bar like he owned it. Maria scoffed and Carol raised an eyebrow in question, Maria just shaking her head in reply.

 

The Staff Sergeant sidled up to the booth, leaning his weight on the table and sticking his ass in Maria's face. She barely resisted the urge to pelt quarters off his ballsack, having perfected the art of snapping them with deadly force in this very bar. As it were, Maria had other plans for the quarters that involved a jukebox and drunken karaoke, not bruising the testicles of a pissant she outranked.

 

Staff Sergeant Jackass casually grabbed a tequila shot from Tenny's tray and downed it before intercepting the beer on its way to Maria.

 

Maria ran through all the official ways she could punish the NCO while vaguely debating if toilet duty was really just for E1s or could they make an exception. She recalled the Lieutenant Colonel liked cinnamon bears. Maybe she could bribe him...

 

"Ya didn't hafta orda fa me, sweethaht," his accent grating.

 

Carol shot a two at Tenny who was already working on a fresh tray for them.

 

"That's good, because I didn't," Carol says, very pointedly handing the other beer and tequila to Maria. Maria could just picture Staff Sargent Jackass trying to work out what she meant.

 

He tried his luck again, laying on the charm extra thick.

 

"That was some drivin' sweethaht," he started, and Maria could just see Carol's urge to roll her eyes. Staff Sergeant Jackass continued to ramble about muscle cars and how he'd let Carol win.

 

Carol and Maria continued to have a silent conversation, ignoring Staff Sergeant Jackass the best they could.

 

Maria found herself caught up in the honey brown of Carol's eyes, the light hitting them just right.

 

It wasn't until Staff Sergeant Jackass nearly sat on Maria that she remembered he was there or he so much as acknowledged her presence. Even then it was only briefly to shoot her a nasty look.

 

Yep. She'd buy the Lieutenant Colonel all the goddamn cinnamon bears she could find if he'd let her put this jackass on toilet duty. Not with a toothbrush, either, but one of those tiny, fine brushes the band used to clean out the slides on the trumpets.

 

"What's ya name, sweethaht?" He drawled, still missing the fact that he was unwelcome.

 

"Well, Staff Sergeant, I'd like to introduce you to Captain Rambeau," Carol said, gesturing to Maria across the table. The NCO turned and visibly gulped, his eyes suddenly too big for his ratty little face. Maria just smiled and offered a two finger wave before nodding back to Carol.

 

"And you can call me Captain Danvers," Carol continued, calm, her eyes growing cold. Maria could see the man wither under that penetrating stare. "Now get the fuck outta my bar."

 

The man practically sprinted to the door, grappling for the handle as Carol called out to him sweetly, "oh, and Staff Sergeant--," the man hung his head and turned shamefully back toward Carol, door open, one foot barely beyond the threshold. "I expect to see you in hangar 17 at 0500... you got sunshine duty." Carol smiled sweetly as the Staff Sergeant groaned, bolting from Pancho's.

 

"I wanted to put that jackass on toilet duty, but _damn_ Danvers," Maria giggled.

 

"Hey, Staff Sergeant Jackass _**earned**_ sweeping up the sunshine, ok?" Carol shot back, taking a long pull from her beer. "Fuck, now I gotta buy cinnamon bears," she said before she was completely consumed with laughter.

 

And it was a night full of it. That, and many other wonderful memories Maria would never forget. Singing _Kiss Me Deadly_ at the top of her lungs, Carol singing off key right along with her. Hustling some poor civvies at pool. Photographs. Joan Jett blasting from Carol's speakers on the drive back to Maria's house. Carol tucking Monica back into bed after she'd heard them " _whispering_ " in the kitchen. Maria laying her head on Carol's shoulder and closing her eyes for " _just one minute,_ " and Carol turning to brush her lips against Maria's forehead before carrying her to her bed. Maria insisting Carol just sleep in her bed with her rather than make up the couch. Waking up with Carol's arm draped over her waist, nose pressed into her neck and snoring. Maria rolling over and kissing Carol awake. Carol sleepily returning the kiss and murmuring something about " _damn time_ " and " _pancakes_?"

 

And that's how it all began. Thank you Staff Sergeant Jackass.

 

Maria suddenly snapped to the present again as she heard the Lieutenant Colonel continue his tirade against Carol for " _destruction of government property_ " and tried not to laugh when she heard the word _hickey_ in the same sentence.

 

Saturday had gotten a little out of hand, what with First Lieutenant Blake asking if Carol knew why it was called a _cockpit_. She answered with her fist and Tenny was forced to spray the group of fly boys and Carol with the bar hose and kick them all out for the night. Maria took Carol home and iced her cheek so it wouldn't bruise before Carol smashed their lips together and they stumbled to bed.

 

Their love making had not been exactly quiet or gentle that night, and obviously they'd been too caught up in the moment to be careful. Maria felt her ears burn at the memory and a smile touched her lips before she could stop it.

 

The Lieutenant Colonel didn't see it as a happy smile, rather the smirk of a smartass biting back commentary.

 

"Something to say, Rambeau?" He groused and Carol breathed a small sigh of relief while shooting Maria a tiny glare. "You think this is funny? You think it's ok to just run around with _hickeys_? You think _destruction of government property_ is something to laugh at?" 

 

His voice grew louder with each question and Maria's eyes wider until thankfully, by some greater power, a visiting something or other from some agency with a really, really long name walked past, tapping the Lieutenant Colonel on the shoulder.

 

"Excuse me, sir? I'm Agent Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D., and I'm here to ask you about these birds. Cinnamon bear?"

 

Carol and Maria waited until the pair were well out of earshot before bursting into laughter.

 

Now, it's 6 years later and Carol and Maria are climbing the stairs to their bedroom when Agent Fury clears his throat behind them.

 

"Rambeau, please, no destruction of government property tonight," he'd smirked.

 

Maria's jaw drops in shock and no noise comes out but Carol is already on it.

 

"Fury, as far as I'm concerned, I stopped being _government property_ when I died. I belong to nobody but myself and this woman, if she'll have me."

 

Maria couldn't answer in words, so instead she smiled and shook her head slightly, grasping Carol's hand in her own and practically dragging her to the bedroom.

 

_Good thing that flight suit of hers has a high neck_ , Maria chuckles to herself. There's no way she's leaving an inch of that gorgeous woman unkissed tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're interested in being a beta for me, hit me up in the comments, via email danielleitloudernow@gmail.com or on tumblr @DanielleItLouderNow.


End file.
